A woman in love

29 December, 2023 12:00 PM
After days I met my only real-time friend, I don't have many friends in real life, maybe cause it wasn't allowed, or maybe I love talking to non-living things more.
She sat beside me and started crying helplessly, I could see the pain in her eyes, I didn't know how to react, how to console her, watching the only person I care so much about crying like this. She was sobbing and I was just confused. I knew the reason, probably I'm the only person who does, and I don't know what I'll do to make it all right, making her happy again.
When we fall in love, our world starts revolving around that one person, All the other things you ever cared about start to vanish, nobody seems to understand us, but, for the fact, we're the only one being insane at the time.
You know what I did?
I yelled at her and told her to block that guy who was playing with her heart again and again, I wondered what in the world was keeping her with him, maybe I had the answer.
I remembered the time when I was in exact same situation. My body was shaking, my leg felt numb, and my heartbeats were too fast to let my brain think, it felt like I was having physical pain in my chest and only stabbing a sharp knife in the chest would help, nothing else would.
Even though he was the one hurting me, I was so dead that I accepted his hug. I didn't say a word. I couldn't.
The lang just slipped from my feet, I was numb, I had never felt like this, it was an intense shivering going through my whole body, but not in a good way. I wanted to run away but my body was numb, the reason to live had disappeared, and I could not even tell her cause of the insecurity that she'd think bad about him.
How does it feel like living in a beautiful dream for a very long time and suddenly just waking up? You try sleeping back again and again but that dream never comes back, cause it was an illusion, and you're trapped.
It's so hard to accept that but it is the reality and it can never be changed. The more you run from it, the more it'll hurt you, it's either you kill yourself or just keep getting hurt. It's not like I never tried going away, I did. It felt like I couldn't breathe, like I was just dead, if I could never sleep but my eyes were bleeding to sleep. I tried writing it out, but for a few days I was sobbing, crying, yelling with every word I wrote, My hands were too afraid to write it, I couldn't, I stopped, I tried hitting my head to wall to stop my brain from thinking. Does it work? Nope. Nothing works when you have a strong rage going on in your blood, in your veins.

Now I know how she feels, I was the only one who could say something to her, and now I am the one who understands her, so I couldn't. I couldn't say a word cause I knew how she was feeling, I wish I hadn't so I could stop her, but now as I do, I know whatever I say won't have any effect on her, maybe time will heal her, if she gives it a chance, or maybe she'll be habitual to this feeling soon, can work in any way cause it has to.
I'm still afraid to lose her because she is not the one who can accept easily, she denies to accept the facts, and maybe I am too, I'm also living in delusions and for a moment I forget anything ever happened and then it flashes back with the same shivering affect, tiring. I try to accept but she doesn't I'm optimistic, she's not, I hope she gets enough courage to get out of it. I wish I could take her pain in me to free her. I can suffer, but I can't see her suffering, for the same thing I did.
As they say, a Woman in love is the dumbest creature, she has a lot of love in them that even though you let her down, you break her, destroy her, she can never stop giving the love she has, she can never stop loving even if it's hurting her so much, even the love is draining her, so yes,
A woman in love is the dumbest creature. And this is how I failed, I was on my knees without fighting, a woman in love is the strongest creature, but the man get no guts to keep her right, most men don't deserve a woman, offensive but true.


A woman if treated right, can give you the world, and a woman if pushed into misery, can destroy the world but you.