Pleasant lies

You asked what I look like.
I said so gorgeous
Sadly, that was my very first lie.
You were with your lover
I was sitting behind your lodge
‘oh no, I can’t leave. maybe you need me'
The chain of lies began
The way you walk with me
With the thoughts of her
I lied again to me
‘Maybe I’m faithful for you.’
‘Maybe you believe me more.’
The chain of lies with a large unpleasant hook
Tied around my neck tightly.
Again I met you
My heartbeats was still getting faster
And…She arrived again like a thorn on the heart.
You left me again, with the acuminate pain of forks,
The pain which was grabbing my small pieces of heart
And plucking it so badly.
I had no tears,
But…
My heart was aching hard.
I again lied to my heart.
I’m trapped in the pleasant darkness
With my helpless dead soul
And..
A broken heart having bunch of lies.

- Chhaya

This was the first poem I wrote, I was writing about being stuck in cycle of love and lies,
how it felt to be in love, it wasn't very pleasant, but I wanted to be in it so bad and hence
people say "Beauty is in the eyes of beholder" no matter how bad it is, if we like it, we call
it Pleasant, but can you hide the darkness of it? No. It will always be Pleasant Darkness. This
was the first time this combination of two words came in my mind, it touched my soul somehow
and I decided to keep this forever, ever since then, I had been holding this name in my mind
"Pleasant Darkness" since I was in 9th grade. As today I got this opporunity to own this name,
I would do it for anything. It feels like my own language I can express in.